the lifer

(no subject)

I quit smoking again
but it doesnt stop the crave
I'm really taking care of myself
but it doesnt slow my age
I'm really trying here
see how I hold my rage
I wish I could move
as fast you
see how I miss you
I have it all together
all over again
I know when I lose it
you wont be there then
and you were so calm
all the damn time
dont you know I'm lying
when I say I'm fine
and I wish I could move
far away with you
I wish I could lose
everything to you
oh babe
see how bad I miss you
I miss you
the lifer

(no subject)

The heart of David
set up by Divinity
this man is to be reckoned with
but with all sensitivity
hand of God protecting his every move
yet standing with him through the fire
singing songs that uplift
singing to inspire
his enemies set camp against him
and though God allows it
He never rejects him
Be the father his father wasnt
be the friend he couldnt find
be the cover for this king among men
he has the heart of David and is searching for you
in all his quests for truth
the lifer

Believe you

I dont like what they say
I know I'm not obsessed
Can't we just be inspired
I just miss you I guess
If someone asked me why
I would only explain
in simple words
reflecting pain
its so complex
yet easy to understand
for those of us who call you a friend
Simple really
this void in the air now
Believing is all we can do
didnt we always
always believe you
They should be scared baby
they should be frightened
Did you make it look- the way they wanted it?
wasted and run down
void soul and lost mind
I sure hope you did
if not then searching is a crime
I cant believe this
Because I never did
Finding consistency in the lies
it only came from you
and believing these days
is all that gets me through
didn't I always
always beieve you
believe you?

Love you more...forever. ..Neverlandprincess
the lifer

(no subject)

Nerves left exposed
what happened to my mask
I tried to hold it together so well
whats the use in that
I'm finally able to tell
I'm not in for lines
I dont want nothin for sale
theres somethin in a mans voice
it can tell you that your home
I might be too old when I find it
but I'd still rather be alone
then to live my life like a play
best actress
and my home is a stage
I tried it once
and just got lost in the script
so wherever your goin
I know its just a trip
Dont lie to me
with a straight face
you might think your smooth
but your just a thief
ready to steal something you didnt earn
your not dealing with most
I am not unlearned
so I just smile and nod
until the lies have settled
and your standing there caught
I'll be lookin at you
like
I told you
I told you so
There somethin in a mans' voice
tells me everything
Tells me when I'm home
or it just tells me
that I'm really still alone
and I maybe passed my prime
when I find that sacred ground
But I'll never be lost
until the day I am found
It's got to be that way
or I'd rather be alone
or I'd rather be alone
the lifer

(no subject)

I swear if this dog /doesnt stop barking at the walls
I'm gonna just lose my mind
I swear if this world doesnt slow down
I'm gonna throw away time
I promise if you look at me wrong
I'm not stayin sweet very long
I'm so tired of the view
I'm just bustin out the window
to get a clearer view
I need to take a trip
I need to get some space
but its hard in a room of people
needed the same thing
My moms breaking down
and the kids are growin up
my mom is reawakened
and my dad doesnt get enough
we all need somethin
and if you find it would you let me in
because I just realized
bein free aint no sin
I swear if I hear my trigger words one more time...
I swear if they start fighting over their rights again
I'm gonna exile myself
I used to get involved
but here lately ...
well..
you can all just go to hell
just leave me alone
and let me breathe
I'm tearing out a window
just so I can see
Get the FSC off my cigerettes
Get your hand off my money
Get your regs off my lights
and I dont care about global rights
My dad is goin crazy
just thinkin bout it all
my mom is all grown up now
and thinkin outside the walls
and me I'm in my inner self somewhere
just tryin to get in
cause I finally realized
bein myself aint no sin
the lifer

(no subject)

If I knew what you wanted to hear
I would be so loud,so clear
But all thats left right now
is this silence
and this fear
I thought I made my peace
but here I am again
just wanting to scream
dont you know your leavin me
and you aint got nothin to say
Daddys little girl
I must have the answers right
but its just a face
Thought I knew you
but it was just a play
I love you you know
I hope I made you proud sometime
you know this thing is workin us all
but your just killin your time
Dont you know your leavin me
and it effects more than you
but your just hurtin
by everything we do
If I knew what you wanted to say
I would scream it out for you
but here I am in the wait
the big wait
just like you
I didnt want you to be here alone
Was just afraid I guess
So I came the hell home
only to see your still here
and yet your already gone
Daddys little girl
I always look out for you
take up for you
stand beside you
reach out for you
so who am I that you see
pushin thirty
all grown up
but not quite complete
I thought I had seen everything
and thought I was strong
Guess the truth I see now
is your already gone
I love you daddy
I love you anyway
Wish I had some answers
that I didnt have to find this way
Daddys little girl
I'm about to lose my King
I hope you find your peace
after all this suffering
Daddys little girl
but I'll stand strong
or I'll look the part
for a while though its wrong
yeah cause everything is wrong.
the lifer

discover

If I were an artist
I would paint how I feel
in the most vibrant colors
that make love real
If I were a dancer
I would only dance with you
If I were a speaker
I swear I would only tell whats true
But if I could be anything
I would just be with you
I don't want to go searching
in mines for gold
just to be yours to have and to hold
All my life I guess I searched
and only found mysteries
that led me to mazes ending in misery
If I were poet
I would write you a song
and if you were choosing
pray that mine was the one
if I were from the Ivy League
I would represent you
and pray my every move was true
but if I could be anyone
it would the one thats close to you
If I were endowed with talent
would it amuse you
If I were of unknown beauty
would I mesmerize you
If I were intelligent beyond comprehension
could you then see children
but if I could be anyone
it would be to be the only one
Yes if I were only a woman
and that is all I claimed to be
would you wait for me to dance for you
or would you come and look for me
if I were only a woman
and that was my only claim
would you need something more divine
or would you want to know my name
Because babe I'm just a woman
and I have many dreams
I just wondered
for once
would someone discover me